Monday, December 3, 2007
Caregiver Burden
We have talked so much in class about the stress of taking care of a loved one who is sick and it made me think of my grandfather and how he took care of my grandmother before she passed away. He had to make sure that she got to and from the doctor, took the right medications, bathed her, did her laundry and just any other duties that comes with caring for a loved one. As her health started to deterioate, the stress from it increased. Back and forth in the hospital, trying to maintain his household and bills as well as find time for him to do the things he needed to do to keep himself up such as eat and bathe. I know it was hard for him because he always would look stressed out and too he was starting to lose weight. He did not want anyones help so the load fell on him. There were times when I would stay at home with my grandmother and I too would become a little overwhelmed. I did not have any problems caregiving but just the thought of knowing someone who could once do for themselves was at the time solely dependent on everyone else hurt because she would express it in words and in actions. Do you know anyone currenltly caring for a loved one? Do they feel weighed down at times? What would you do if you were in this situation?
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There was only one grandparent hat I ever had the chance to know and it was my grandmother on my mom’s side. My mom grew up in Illinois and then moved to Florida at some point to raise our family with my dad. My grandma stayed in Illinois. When my grandmother got older she started suffering from a few types of cancer which eventually caused her to die. I just know that every second my mom was away from her, hurt her very much. My aunt lived in Illinois, so she was able to care for my ailing grandma, but it was difficult for my mom and very expensive to fly back and forth. She didn’t get to see her that often and I know that it weighed heavily on her mind. She felt so horrible and placed much blame on herself, even though there was really nothing she could do in the situation. At the time my mom wasn’t in a job that really cared about her needs and did not allow much personal leave, therefore she was able to take very little time off from work in order to spend time with her mother. I really believe that no matter what has happened throughout someone’s life, even if they lived a very full and happy life, it is still so very hard to watch them or know that they are slowly leaving you and not being able to stop it or help it. Many times there are unwarranted feelings of guilt. Maybe it is a possibility that the NFCSP / AAA, which provide counseling during the time of care giving, can also, provide short-term counseling after the passing of the person receiving the care. The situation affects care givers after they are no longer providing care and they should have some form of help after the fact, as well.
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